03/09/2011 23:33

Frustrated

Well today we thought we would be done with the NG tube.  Not so much.  Cadence ate less than she has been for each meal today.  So the tube was utilized after each meal.  I can just hear Dr. Moshtael in the morning... oh, but wait!  We finally will have Dr. O'Toole in the morning!  It will be nice to get the other doctors perspective.  Water was much better today though and the late afternoon was not as chaotic as the last two.  Since being off of her ADHD meds it seems that by late in the afternoon she gets VERY crazy.  Loud voice, irrational, wants to argue everything and seems to just move a million miles a minute.  Yesterday I asked her why she was yelling at me and getting so aggitated.  She started crying uncontrollably and  said, "I dont know why, Mom.  It just feels like everything is moving around so fast."  It broke my heart because usually she gets so mouthy and wont explain herself, its usually someone elses fault, or someone else did this or that.  She was focused on herself and what her feelings were with regards to mine.  Plus I could tell it was really really bothering her.  I asked her if she would like a hug and she said yes.  It was a bit of a breakthrough moment, but hurt at the same time.

Today the doctor talked about the possibility of us going to the day treatment unit, but really didnt go into what that entails.  Plus it all, of course, hinges on C's eating.  Which seems to change daily.  She is a good doctor, but I just got the feeling today that she really didnt have the time for us.  I asked one question really and I honestly dont remember the answer she was gone so fast.  On top of that our day nurse was not what I would call kid friendly.  To do the orthos, they patient is required to lay flat on their back without moving for 2-5 minutes.  I say 2-5 because it seems every nurse does it differently.  This nurse was just asking for it.  It was like she was provoking Cadence.  Cadence would lay fairly still, not that she cant, but she is 7 and she has been stuck on bedrest for almost a week AND the meds for ADHD are now completely out of her system.  This nurse would sit and if C's foot pointed or flexed after 4 minutes she would say, well now Cadence, we have to start all over again.  I told you not to move and you moved.  I thought we would NEVER get done.  Most of the nurses will let her watch the TV because she will focus on it enough to lose track of some time... this nurse would put her head directly in the way and when C would move her head she would put her hand on Cadence's forehead and push her back.  C has also gotten used to "helping" out with her routines.  She likes to hold the thermometer and push the button on the end to eject the cover when its over then stick it back into its holster.  You would have thought C was reaching into this womans purse.  anyways, this morning set my mood the wrong way, and without Jon here to bounce my feelings off of, I guess I kinda lost it.  So today was a low point for me.  As for Cadence, aside from the eating thing, I think she had a great day.  She didnt scream during the blood draw, she let out a pretty good cry as soon as the needle went in, but it was really short.  she even held pretty still.  She did argue about going to the bathroom in the morning as per usual, but she ended up going and not having to have the bladder scan.  This evening when getting ready for bed she asked for her new sketch book and art kit from Aunt Clare and I told her now was not the time because I wanted her to lay back and relax to get ready for bed.  Normally this would spark a HUGE fight.  She didnt even blink at me.  Just laid back and started relaxing.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!  I jumped up after a minute, which took me that long to realize that seriously just happened!, and went over to her and started kissing all over her face.  She just smilled this sweet smile and said, I love you too mom.  I said, Cadence, I am so proud of you!  She asked, "Why?"  I told her why and she just kept on smiling and said you bet!  I do love to toot her horn when she does stuff like that.  (pretty rare in the last few years)  I hope and pray that she will start coming around a little bit with her attitude (not holding my breath) now that she is becoming more healthy.  I do think a lot of it had to do with her just being so past hungry, she couldnt put her finger on what was wrong, just that she was miserable, and took it out on everyone around her.  I dont know.  Im having a hard time relaying what Im trying to say and Im sure reading today's blog might be tricky... thanks for sticking it through till the end.  Tomorrow is another day.  Who knows what it has in store for us.... stay tunned

—————

Back


Contact

Arizonianmays

29862 N Tatum Blvd. #2038
Cave Creek, AZ 85331